sora catchall

[papasha]

Comments

[papasha]

[Blanca eating scrambled eggs with his hand... Actually, he'd just use the toast to pinch it up probably, so it's fine. He takes a seat by Sora.

He does not eat with his mouth full, thankfully.]

I'm adjusting. A little curious, a little worried. How about you?

[reconnective]

[i know you meant talk but there's something super funny about not eating with his mouth full. anyway.]

About the same as anybody, I guess. Adjusting. I don't want to think this is gonna be a new, normal thing but...I wanted to see what people thought about it. And about what Virid said yesterday.

[papasha]

[i. am laughing so hard. WOW, i have no excuse other than being tired.]

You mean... about our memories? [A pause.] Are you worried about people being desperate enough to kill to keep their memories to themselves?

[(riku voice) haha]

[reconnective]

[please go to sleep.]

Yeah. And I dunno, maybe? It happened to Virid, so why wouldn't it happen for other people if they really felt like they had to? Sometimes...people who are really desperate will do anything. Even if they normally wouldn't.

[papasha]

You're right, they may. If the memory is important enough to them.

[He peers at Sora.]

I suppose it depends on whether or not you believe your memories make you who you are.

[reconnective]

[he's not entirely sure if blanca's expecting an answer, or if he's just saying his opinion, but sora decides it's worth explaining his thoughts anyway. blanca's someone who seems like he's levelheaded enough to talk to about stuff like this and it's half the reason he went to find him.]

They do, but I also don't think they're ever really gone from us even when we forget.

[papasha]

[Sora, a good boy. He figured any kind of speculation would encourage Sora to talk more freely.]

Oh? You think... they are still there, but hidden from our consciousness? We just don't know we've forgotten them.

[reconnective]

Yeah. Memories are...really, really important to us. Even if we don't always remember the things we've seen or the people we've met, we remember the way those things made us feel.

[...i'm so fucking sorry.]

I have this friend. We met once a while ago, but then I had to go away. When I came back to visit, he forgot all about me. He forgot about all of his friends. So we tried everything to help him remember. It took a while, but eventually he remembered me. Except...I had to go away again, to keep helping other worlds.

He said he was trying to find a way to make it so I wouldn't have to go away again. I promised him I'd come back to visit, but that wasn't enough. He had been trying to find me for a really long time...I kinda felt bad.

But...he reminded me of something, myself. Even when you aren't with the people you care about, and even if you don't remember everything perfectly, it's always in your heart. As long as you keep those feelings there, the memories are never really gone. So I made him a promise I'd always be right there. I think it worked, too. [he grins.] Silly old bear...

...memories are important because they're ours. But as long as you hang on to your heart, you can hang on to who you are. [so. yeah. that's the tl;dr way of saying that yes, that's what he thinks.]

[papasha]

[this is payback from plasma when i had to tell you the entirety of sasuke's shitty story]

I don't think that's a bad way to look at it. Rather than taking memories from us, perhaps this place conceals them. I told Mister Won this happens often, sometimes without people realizing it.

If something bad happens to them, their mind will help them cope by making them forget. It's still there, deep within them.

[reconnective]

Right, exactly. We may think we're forgetting everything but it's just that we aren't as strongly connected anymore. And that's why I think if we try to remember other things, maybe those memories will come back. Lup and I were talking about writing down the most important ones. Just in case.

[but he tilts his head.] If that's true, then...wouldn't the mind just need to heal? So that it's not hurt anymore. [replace mind with heart and that's really what he's asking here.]

[papasha]

[He smiles slightly.]

You're right.

The mind would need to heal. Usually, it's a little painful. You have to remember what has hurt you, and then learn how to acknowledge and heal from it. It means reliving the memories your mind tried to hide away.

[reconnective]

[...hm...]

Lup told me that things happened the way they did because the Realm was influenced by our memories and our beliefs. She said she heard it from one of the leaders. So maybe that's the answer. We have to relive things here in order to heal the Realm and fix the nova problem.

[papasha]

If Miss Lup isn't correct, I wouldn't doubt she is close. If the leaders can offer up their memories to hold back the Realm... collapsing, if you will, then I imagine we and it are connected.

[He peers at Sora curiously.]

I wonder if we should be concerned with what caused it.

[reconnective]

Maybe. [they should definitely be concerned, actually.] If we're all connected to it, and the Realm felt the disturbance when one of us was lost, then you'd think that'd mean that we would be making it more unstable than stable.

But we still don't know how the nova's attracted to us either. None of the leaders seem to really know. Any ideas?

[papasha]

[His brows raise knowingly at the mention of the Realm growing more unstable the more their unfortunate death disturbances happen.

But he shakes his head at the question.]

I have not heard, or found anything, unfortunately. I don't know if it helps at all in our case, but "nova" is when a start increases in brightness and then dims. So I've read.

Almost as if it's being fed.

[reconnective]

You think they could mean the same thing? Memories that start out really clear until they fade away...it makes sense with what we know and what we've experienced so far. [though now that they're here, he remembers something else he wanted to ask.]

Blanca, do you know what you've lost?

[papasha]

It's possible, but just a theory.

[His smile is somewhat weak.]

I don't, no. It's difficult to think about what you've forgotten when you can't remember it, isn't it? I haven't recognize anything I've forgotten yet, even though I know I have. It feels like some things are missing, but...

[He shakes his head.]

[reconnective]

But it's hard to place where they fit. [there's an understanding nod.] It's funny. Some people realize it right away, but others really don't know because it's not something they think about a lot. I don't know if there's a reason for the difference, but I've also heard of people losing more than one at a time.

[papasha]

More than one...? My.

[Well, that's fucking worrying. Now he wonders if he's lost more than he realizes. How the FCK is he going to know what he's lost unless a certain circumstance of talking to someone?!]

Mister Won claims the leaders he's spoken with don't seem interested in bloodshed. I wonder why things would come together as competition then, why there would need to be a winner. Shouldn't everyone win--if we return home, if we have our memories back?

[reconnective]

Yeah. [yeah! that's what he said, too!]

...is that true? [why does he sound skeptical about that?] I've wondered about that myself. But...did Won say which leaders he talked to?

[papasha]

Not specifically. He said he was trying to speak to all of them, as many as possible with different people to vet their answers.

To make sure they are consistent, I mean. I think he may have been worried they wouldn't be impartial.

[He peers at Sora.]

Have you spoken to many of them?

[reconnective]

He's smart. I want to believe they all feel the same way, but in a group this big when they don't remember who they were...I don't blame other people for being unsure.

[but he nods.] I've talked to all of them. Some conversations have been more helpful than others, but they're all okay.

[papasha]

Are there any who happen to give you a bad feeling? Or maybe not bad, but... their personality is a little different.

[reconnective]

Mmm....Wolf and Tiger are a little hard to talk to sometimes, but I don't know if that makes them bad people. Maybe we just need to figure out how to approach them.

But otherwise? They all seem pretty nice and like they want to really help us.

[papasha]

I see. I think you're right. We'll keep working with them. Without their memories, I believe they're as trapped as we are.