Do you think it would give me any pleasure to do so? 'Twas not by your hand; I would not argue with one who cannot speak as directly of it. You need not worry about that.
[that last part is to blanca. he will save his pissiness for hua cheng, thank you.]
I do not suppose I can judge wishing to obscure it in order to live, when I was not willing to offer up my own life either-- but if you and he can both bear the end result, then it was your choice. Two culprits who did something necessary, or someone who did nothing at all, just as it would have been last week had I escaped.
[emet-selch would have been fine if someone got scapegoated for him. he has to wonder how much xie lian is fine with someone being scapegoated for hua cheng, necessary murder or not.]
[ xie lian's eyes don't narrow, really. there's a determined flint to his gaze as he looks at emet-selch, though. ] I would remind you of what you told me earlier this evening - that to reach an end goal where all of the dead our returned to us, each team is required to kill two people.
His team had none.
I am keeping my eyes on the bigger picture, Emet-Selch. You are not the only person who has been hurt today. I have lost someone this week, as you have - someone very important to me. But I have no intention of letting that be the final result of the Realm, and I am sure you do not either.
I will say this - I have always lived with my decisions. I am more than capable of bearing the weight of what I say, and what I do, and I have borne that weight for centuries. I do not need you to lecture me on the morality of them.
[ and that's that! his attention goes back to blanca now. ]
[Wow, exactly like home? Stuck as the fucking middleman between several bickering people. Sure do love it.
He just stands there exactly like he was, quiet, expression thin, but with his hands by his sides.]
If I may: [his tone is tired, but placating] let's not waste time squabbling about ethics in this place. I don't think they mean much here, and I don't believe any of the three of us can really talk about being the better person.
[He looks between them both. There's no way a single one of them hasn't done some shit, whether intentional or accidental.]
The three of us have to work together, and we still have to find the rest of us if they remain. And then we have to deal with the creature.
Edited (i cant speak english) 2020-11-01 04:01 (UTC)
If I may, I do not believe I have ever claimed to be so.
[he's not the bigger person, nor does he have moral high ground-- he's just making sure xie lian is reminded, after how it occurred. it still sits poorly to have one contact removed by another, and not hear of it from that person themselves-- a bitch will cover if you loop him in, damn.
this may or may not be the largest source of the annoyance, given that he knows very well she had to die if she was splintering.]
Speaking of that, however. My Leader believed I may well be replaced, if I had died-- even if the original holders of any such positions have been lost, the duties themselves may still exist.
You should be able to ask-- I went to my Leader with the list of those who had gathered and the additional names I knew, and asked if they could tell me how many were left. I was given an answer.
[get those deets blanca.]
I believe mine has lost only one, but by the same token, I believe I am the only one to have killed.
[Xie Lian gets a somewhat sympathetic look. He understands, buddy, wow.]
I'll see if we can confirm it then. But... our team is heading into dangerous territory as well. Try not to let your leader go out of the castle on Thursday, if you can.
[A quiet sigh.]
We may potentially have more than two murders next week. If we assume the person a leader picks is the Pawn. I'm not sure if there can be more than one. If it's only a single Pawn, then... the other teams may try to get their second kill in anyway. Including mine.
[his brow furrows, there... before he exhales a long sigh.]
...I would offer up members of my own that can be spared to you both, would it not run a risk. Some of those, I believe might have shared enough already.
[if he could, he would doxx some safe kills, but the instability is certainly a concern.]
I've asked this of Xie Lian already, but Blanca, do see if you can get yours to discuss this-- or at least get the measure of how many may or may not act. My own is not, in general, at risk of going rogue.
[ mmnnn... ] ...But, I think many teams are in the same situation of "it is only one more". I don't know how widespread the knowledge is of this end goal yet, which is a good thing. Of my team, I don't believe they will act - not without knowledge, and not without a very, very good plan.
I have been trying to find a way around it... short of dealing with the creature, since that is the root of our issues. I still know so little about it, though.
Since Emet-Selch has told us how many remain on his team, would it hurt for us to do the same? This sharing rule is becoming more frustrating than ever. That we cannot rely on each other's knowledge to help others means painting a big picture in a short time is difficult.
...There is one other. Blanca, that person that you know must be protected, and the same goes for the other person on my team. I will be speaking to my leader tomorrow, the moment I am able to ask for an audience, and I'll report back to you all when I do.
I...do not like thinking of myself as protected, but for the sake of my leader, I also need to stay alive.
The Thursday protection slot would ensure my own death, were I to be successful. And...
...I don't know yet. I won't know until tomorrow. But, if what I think is going to happen is going to happen, I cannot protect everyone.
If... this week is going to be as bloody as I believe it is going to be, I think the best possible outcome will be that we catch one person that I can protect. And that one person cannot know that they are being protected.
As harsh as it is to say... I think we should ensure you remain alive for as long as possible, even... at the expense of someone we may want to protect who isn't related to any roles.
[It does look like it earnest pains him to admit this. He isn't some holy man walking on green earth, but he unfortunately has emotions.]
[ yeah. xie lian grimaces. he hates it, too. don't worry. ]
I also had known my role could pass to someone else, so I have always put my life on the line. I am unafraid of death, especially to protect others.
But... now, it is about my entire team - and my team Leader, who will not be in the castle this upcoming week. He is in serious danger, and I do think that our team is the one that is the most likely to be completely eliminated. With that in mind, I cannot die. I cannot let either of my remaining teammates die, either.
[ gods!!!! just let him get killed for his team jfc!!! can this not be easy!!!!!!!!! ]
...This week... I made my decision, as I always do, on Monday. But when I attempted to use the power to lock in my choice for Thursday - it wouldn't work. Neither my Leader nor I could figure out why. We tried multiple times, and he let me know that splintering nova couldn't have been the issue.
[there are- people he would prefer to see alive, and he's going to have his work cut out for him to restrain others if certain people die. but in the end, if they can just ensure revival...
well, the ends have always justified the means, for emet-selch.
xie lian's explanation is highly concerning, though, and both brows raise at that.]
It simply failed? Were you not able to use it on another, then-- do you think it may be related to the danger your team is in? If a Leader loses power on Thursday nights...
[like, it's actually good that xie lian can't sacrifice his own ass if that's the case? but that's also concerning.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[that last part is to blanca. he will save his pissiness for hua cheng, thank you.]
I do not suppose I can judge wishing to obscure it in order to live, when I was not willing to offer up my own life either-- but if you and he can both bear the end result, then it was your choice. Two culprits who did something necessary, or someone who did nothing at all, just as it would have been last week had I escaped.
[emet-selch would have been fine if someone got scapegoated for him. he has to wonder how much xie lian is fine with someone being scapegoated for hua cheng, necessary murder or not.]
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His team had none.
I am keeping my eyes on the bigger picture, Emet-Selch. You are not the only person who has been hurt today. I have lost someone this week, as you have - someone very important to me. But I have no intention of letting that be the final result of the Realm, and I am sure you do not either.
I will say this - I have always lived with my decisions. I am more than capable of bearing the weight of what I say, and what I do, and I have borne that weight for centuries. I do not need you to lecture me on the morality of them.
[ and that's that! his attention goes back to blanca now. ]
no subject
He just stands there exactly like he was, quiet, expression thin, but with his hands by his sides.]
If I may: [his tone is tired, but placating] let's not waste time squabbling about ethics in this place. I don't think they mean much here, and I don't believe any of the three of us can really talk about being the better person.
[He looks between them both. There's no way a single one of them hasn't done some shit, whether intentional or accidental.]
The three of us have to work together, and we still have to find the rest of us if they remain. And then we have to deal with the creature.
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[he's not the bigger person, nor does he have moral high ground-- he's just making sure xie lian is reminded, after how it occurred. it still sits poorly to have one contact removed by another, and not hear of it from that person themselves-- a bitch will cover if you loop him in, damn.
this may or may not be the largest source of the annoyance, given that he knows very well she had to die if she was splintering.]
Speaking of that, however. My Leader believed I may well be replaced, if I had died-- even if the original holders of any such positions have been lost, the duties themselves may still exist.
Do the both of you have your full teams gathered?
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Anyway, ]
En. My team is gathered, yes, and well aware of the circumstances.
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[He hesitates while glancing between the two of them, and then he frowns.]
There aren't very many of us left, unless we're missing people, and as far as we're aware... we have only had a single kill.
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[get those deets blanca.]
I believe mine has lost only one, but by the same token, I believe I am the only one to have killed.
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[ ...he hesitates, for a moment. ]
...My team is in danger. My leader has already suffered because of it. I worry immensely for what I think this upcoming week will be like.
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I'll see if we can confirm it then. But... our team is heading into dangerous territory as well. Try not to let your leader go out of the castle on Thursday, if you can.
[A quiet sigh.]
We may potentially have more than two murders next week. If we assume the person a leader picks is the Pawn. I'm not sure if there can be more than one. If it's only a single Pawn, then... the other teams may try to get their second kill in anyway. Including mine.
no subject
[his brow furrows, there... before he exhales a long sigh.]
...I would offer up members of my own that can be spared to you both, would it not run a risk. Some of those, I believe might have shared enough already.
[if he could, he would doxx some safe kills, but the instability is certainly a concern.]
I've asked this of Xie Lian already, but Blanca, do see if you can get yours to discuss this-- or at least get the measure of how many may or may not act. My own is not, in general, at risk of going rogue.
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[ mmnnn... ] ...But, I think many teams are in the same situation of "it is only one more". I don't know how widespread the knowledge is of this end goal yet, which is a good thing. Of my team, I don't believe they will act - not without knowledge, and not without a very, very good plan.
I have been trying to find a way around it... short of dealing with the creature, since that is the root of our issues. I still know so little about it, though.
Since Emet-Selch has told us how many remain on his team, would it hurt for us to do the same? This sharing rule is becoming more frustrating than ever. That we cannot rely on each other's knowledge to help others means painting a big picture in a short time is difficult.
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I think they would perhaps be desperate enough to try what they can to ensure the safety of our team. Not without discussion, of course, but...
[He glances at Xie Lian.]
We think we may have lost two, but we won't know until we are certain how many of us there should be.
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We have lost four.
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[he looks incredulous at that-- then exhales a slow sigh.]
If there is any way-- any at all-- that you may be allowed to tell or hint to us who must remain alive, do find it.
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I know of one other on your team; they have told me you weren't doing so well, but not how badly. Is it just the two of you, or...?
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...There is one other. Blanca, that person that you know must be protected, and the same goes for the other person on my team. I will be speaking to my leader tomorrow, the moment I am able to ask for an audience, and I'll report back to you all when I do.
I...do not like thinking of myself as protected, but for the sake of my leader, I also need to stay alive.
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[you have a role, come on.]
But report back as soon as you are able. This is something we must attempt to discuss.
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I know we don't understand entirely how your role works necessarily... but do you have any intentions of protecting either of them?
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The Thursday protection slot would ensure my own death, were I to be successful. And...
...I don't know yet. I won't know until tomorrow. But, if what I think is going to happen is going to happen, I cannot protect everyone.
If... this week is going to be as bloody as I believe it is going to be, I think the best possible outcome will be that we catch one person that I can protect. And that one person cannot know that they are being protected.
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As harsh as it is to say... I think we should ensure you remain alive for as long as possible, even... at the expense of someone we may want to protect who isn't related to any roles.
[It does look like it earnest pains him to admit this. He isn't some holy man walking on green earth, but he unfortunately has emotions.]
Which is to say, I agree.
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I also had known my role could pass to someone else, so I have always put my life on the line. I am unafraid of death, especially to protect others.
But... now, it is about my entire team - and my team Leader, who will not be in the castle this upcoming week. He is in serious danger, and I do think that our team is the one that is the most likely to be completely eliminated. With that in mind, I cannot die. I cannot let either of my remaining teammates die, either.
[ gods!!!! just let him get killed for his team jfc!!! can this not be easy!!!!!!!!! ]
...This week... I made my decision, as I always do, on Monday. But when I attempted to use the power to lock in my choice for Thursday - it wouldn't work. Neither my Leader nor I could figure out why. We tried multiple times, and he let me know that splintering nova couldn't have been the issue.
[ a beat. ]
I chose to protect Miss Hikaru.
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[there are- people he would prefer to see alive, and he's going to have his work cut out for him to restrain others if certain people die. but in the end, if they can just ensure revival...
well, the ends have always justified the means, for emet-selch.
xie lian's explanation is highly concerning, though, and both brows raise at that.]
It simply failed? Were you not able to use it on another, then-- do you think it may be related to the danger your team is in? If a Leader loses power on Thursday nights...
[like, it's actually good that xie lian can't sacrifice his own ass if that's the case? but that's also concerning.]
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I was able to protect someone else. Just not her. I am thinking perhaps that even if I had chosen Miss Alyssa, it would have worked.
...I think it is a case specific to Miss Hikaru, but neither of us could figure out why.
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[He doesn't like the sound of it, not in concerns to try to protect people, but he also isn't sure if it's a one time deal.]
We can check into it. At most, keep it in mind.