[He can't help but be tickled slightly by Emet's amusement. He holds up both hands in surrender while they are on the railing.
Wow, let him live!]
Not at all.
[But his expression softens with the question.]
I don't know. Probably. I don't know if I can judge anyone who is frustrated enough with the lack of answers to do something rash like killing. It's easy to kill, isn't it? Harder to spare someone else you barely know and continue not understanding how to fix things.
So it is. I am given to wonder just how much is rashness, however.
[he's quiet for just a moment, there.]
There is killing because it is simple, and there is killing because it seems the best solution-- not to mention killing because one believes there are no other choices to be made, or even out of coercion. I am sure there are those who would not distinguish between them, but in a place like this, it becomes more important to do so.
[sometimes, it really is the only answer, and sometimes there's more to be learned from motivations.]
The trouble lies in finding just which it is, and in obtaining further answers.
I'm beginning to wonder if we even have the luxury to think about those differences here.
[His brows furrow.]
But if we lose that kind of reasoning, it might not be any different than losing pieces of ourselves with our memories. We'll be going at it like we hadn't been trying to find how to stop it.
I am well aware the results do not differ regardless of motivation, do not mistake me there-- 'tis an unfortunate situation regardless. Someone will be killed, and another will die in turn.
[just peering down over the side of the bridge as he speaks.]
Do you believe that killing for any reason at all should make one's own life forfeit?
[He is quiet for a long moment, refusing to look at Emet. And then slowly, he glances over.]
I believe we are all in the same pool together, and you have just as much of a chance to die as anyone else. Regardless of what you do; whether you kill, or you don't kill.
I... can't condemn anyone for deciding to kill when... I made a career from it.
Ah, the assassin type, are you? Or I suppose some would say the same of military careers, though it does tend to only be the disillusioned who would think of it so.
[there's no judgment there, still neutral, calm enough; the concept of it doesn't truly bother him.]
You are not wrong, however. Any one of us may die. Given that, it does feel somewhat short-sighted of them to treat killing a guilty party as being any better. But I suppose it helps to prop up morals, on what shaky ground they yet hold here.
It makes some feel better in having to do bad things. Not necessarily right, but that as well... just... it helps them cope, I guess. Not much different than those of us in the army having to kill others.
I see. I have spent some time in the military myself, unpleasant though it is.
[but that's likely obvious, considering the decorations on that coat he always wears.]
In that context, it makes sense enough. Be able to see them as somehow deserving, and it is all the easier to knowingly send them to their death-- for those that even bother to participate in such a fashion. At some point the others will have to accept that spreading the names out so only leads to potential trouble, in case of a future close call.
I have lived quite long enough to know how temporary a mortal life can be. Distance is not a difficult thing to learn.
[and, with a shrug:]
There are still ways, are there not? Things like the tasks we have already been doing, for one-- I am sure you will not be surprised that I am not one to throw myself wholeheartedly into the 'love and friendship' concept.
[Honestly, he doesn't feel like laughing, so when he does, it's quick and wry.]
You might be surprised how much you enjoy it if you tried it. The "love and friendship" concept.
[He's teasing.]
Surely our limited time doesn't make us less worthwhile. Pets don't live very long, but they're important to us, like family. Not that we're animals, though I suppose you could argue a case for that.
[he still refuses to say too much, but- the careful lid he keeps on his feelings is disrupted a little by that. there's a sense of loss that slips free-- he does know it, but the friends he had, the people and the world that he loved, are no longer here. he has had one lapse in judgment when it comes to attachment to mortals; it is not a mistake emet-selch will repeat.
it doesn't show in his expression, only barely in his tone.]
Well, we will hardly be here for a full lifetime in the first place, one should hope-- but that makes it all the more fleeting an encounter. I am here to do what is necessary and then return, nothing more.
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[He seems... a bit amused about Emet's logical dismissal rather than a completely humble one.]
The knife would have probably caused some problems for us, yes. A silent benefactor, however it disappeared.
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[there's a little faint amusement of his own, however brief, before he shakes his head.]
Whether another killer took it or not, then, we were spared some time.
[his fingers tap idly on the railing, not in a fidgety or anxious way-- slow, not entirely rhythmic.]
Do you believe him, when he claimed he was helping?
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Wow, let him live!]
Not at all.
[But his expression softens with the question.]
I don't know. Probably. I don't know if I can judge anyone who is frustrated enough with the lack of answers to do something rash like killing. It's easy to kill, isn't it? Harder to spare someone else you barely know and continue not understanding how to fix things.
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[he's quiet for just a moment, there.]
There is killing because it is simple, and there is killing because it seems the best solution-- not to mention killing because one believes there are no other choices to be made, or even out of coercion. I am sure there are those who would not distinguish between them, but in a place like this, it becomes more important to do so.
[sometimes, it really is the only answer, and sometimes there's more to be learned from motivations.]
The trouble lies in finding just which it is, and in obtaining further answers.
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[His brows furrow.]
But if we lose that kind of reasoning, it might not be any different than losing pieces of ourselves with our memories. We'll be going at it like we hadn't been trying to find how to stop it.
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[just peering down over the side of the bridge as he speaks.]
Do you believe that killing for any reason at all should make one's own life forfeit?
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I believe we are all in the same pool together, and you have just as much of a chance to die as anyone else. Regardless of what you do; whether you kill, or you don't kill.
I... can't condemn anyone for deciding to kill when... I made a career from it.
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[there's no judgment there, still neutral, calm enough; the concept of it doesn't truly bother him.]
You are not wrong, however. Any one of us may die. Given that, it does feel somewhat short-sighted of them to treat killing a guilty party as being any better. But I suppose it helps to prop up morals, on what shaky ground they yet hold here.
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Both.
[But that's all he says about that.]
It makes some feel better in having to do bad things. Not necessarily right, but that as well... just... it helps them cope, I guess. Not much different than those of us in the army having to kill others.
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[but that's likely obvious, considering the decorations on that coat he always wears.]
In that context, it makes sense enough. Be able to see them as somehow deserving, and it is all the easier to knowingly send them to their death-- for those that even bother to participate in such a fashion. At some point the others will have to accept that spreading the names out so only leads to potential trouble, in case of a future close call.
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But he doesn't interrupt the man because he has a strange case of manners.]
So is your plan to go through this watching the rest of us try to morality our way into an ending that hopefully isn't a disaster? Sir.
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I am assisting, am I not? Farces though they may be, I have not excused myself from participating in these trials just as the rest of you do.
[he's not here to get voted off for being unhelpful and uncooperative, thank you.]
And I have just as much investment in returning to my own world as any other. I will do what is necessary.
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You're right. I apologize. [He sounds--and feels?--earnest.] I was only curious, but I shouldn't have made assumptions.
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[a little wave of his hand, there. no need to apologize, though he will accept it anyway and will not say there's no need out loud.]
Nor do I intend to be too personally involved with most of you.
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You're certain you're going to come out of all of this without having become closer to anyone else? Even with what the Realm is doing?
And knowing what it apparently takes to create and gather nova? You did say you were going to help.
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[and, with a shrug:]
There are still ways, are there not? Things like the tasks we have already been doing, for one-- I am sure you will not be surprised that I am not one to throw myself wholeheartedly into the 'love and friendship' concept.
[he will participate but he will NOT hold hands.]
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You might be surprised how much you enjoy it if you tried it. The "love and friendship" concept.
[He's teasing.]
Surely our limited time doesn't make us less worthwhile. Pets don't live very long, but they're important to us, like family. Not that we're animals, though I suppose you could argue a case for that.
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it doesn't show in his expression, only barely in his tone.]
Well, we will hardly be here for a full lifetime in the first place, one should hope-- but that makes it all the more fleeting an encounter. I am here to do what is necessary and then return, nothing more.
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But he doesn't call it out.]
All right. That's fair.
[He isn't going to tell the other man that's terrible, or wrong.]